Have you ever felt so powerless, so tiny and so much of a nobody in your life? Have you ever felt that the winds of fate carries you across lands and oceans and then plops you back where your journey began? Have you ever seen a film without dialogues, music or sound? How infinitely powerless and small one can be when faced with an adversary of choices much greater than him.
Much of life isn't within our control, and the only real control one is given is to admit that mere mortals have an expiry date. A day where our machinery starts to falter and fail. Even before that happens, there will be a day when new and better products enters the playing field. Life will never be an equal playing field for everyone.
What we do within this period is what defines us. Our personality, our resolve, our beliefs, or animosity all depends on how we choose to face this formidable deadline. How we choose to live, or leave, defines our legacy. How we choose to choose defines our legacy as well.
In hindsight, I wouldn't have made certain choices as I had made them. However, I wouldn't be who I am this day if I hadn't made these choices. Probably my choice of trying to blend in with the wallpaper isn't the best one to date. Yet this is who I am, preferring to remain an easy sideline spectator rather than direct confrontation. Maybe my past experiences have moulded me into a person that prefers to stand in a crowd, unseen and unknown.
Will I be remembered when my time is up? Will I be remembered in a good light, or will I be remembered as a model of negativity?
As I look upwards to the sky, the clouds drifting overhead, the specks of distant worlds so far away that it could have already ceased to exist even before my eyes lay upon it, I try to imagine how those before me glanced up and pondered the exact same thoughts that's running through my mind. Infinitely small in a chain of events measured by millions of years. I am but a part of nature, bounded by the workings of the universe. Within the greater confines of the cosmos, I am lesser than a speck of dust.
Then I realise that in our short lives before our expiry, life is simply too precious to be caught in a web of desire for fame and glory. Because no matter how much you achieve, time will simply pass you by, and you'll fade out into nonexistence whence you came from. There is no sadness nor is there joy. Just merely an appreciation for life and time that trudges on.
Suddenly, being insignificant isn't that significant after all.
