Monday, 28 April 2014

Finite

This is it. I'm 25. I'm not entirely sure if I like this number, or where I am in life. The months leading up to this phase has been enlightening and endearing.

Choices have been made, lines have been drawn. Doors remain open for some, and doors have closed for some. I don't fancy a plethora of good to happen to me. There has been great moments, evidence that lady luck hasn't forgotten me. And there has been bad instances, a culmination of bad decisions and impulsive actions.

I don't regret any of them. I can't. Things happen for a reason, and this reason has built me into who I am.

I'm pretty sure I'll continue to make stupid mistakes, and step on toes. But this is life isn't it? We all grow from mistakes and bad choices.

The past years have shown me a side of people that I usually overlook. Like how easy it is for trust to be broken, and how friends can stab you repeatedly without warning. But the goodness of people are evident as well. I have met mentors, prime examples of morality, loyalty and righteousness. I have learnt how easy it is to earn, and to waste trust, love and forgiveness.

I have learnt that it is alright to be alone. You can be lonely in a crowd as well. Being surrounded with acquaintances doesn't make you the happiest person alive. Happiness can come from being comfortable with being alone.

I watched a movie alone on my birthday, followed by a long walk (alone as well), to a restaurant where I had dinner with a few friends. The only gifts I received for my birthday, a red packet from my parents, and the company of dearest friends.

And I can't ask for more. There isn't a point in having grand celebrations and luxurious presents. The anchorage and wisdom of those around me is priceless, even more valuable than bags or wallets of renowned brands.

And I am thankful. I am thankful for the choices I have made. I am thankful for the mentors I have met. I am thankful for the lessons I have learnt, some taught the hard way. I am thankful for the opportunities to discover myself.

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

傻瓜

可能我看走了眼。可能我选择相信错的人。但是我所有的选择都来自内心的。我并没恶意,只是常被人误解。虽然我的确是比常人慢些,但我所作所为都是为了大家的和谐。

可能我的想法是个错误。可能这不是我该走的路线。可能大家恨我的原因来自我个人的缺陷。这是我自己无法确认的。如果没人让我知道自己的缺陷,我再怎么自省都无法知道的。

可能明天会带来更多希望。可能明天将会是我精神崩溃的日子。我没法知道。但为了个希望,无论多么渺小,我都不该放弃。

应为终有一天我将会变强,不再给人瞧不起。

终有一天。

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Forks

In the journey through life, forks are inevitable. And decisions have to be made. Life decisions that might not matter all that much ten years down the road, for all paths lead to the same place. Yet the decisions one makes will determine the sights and sounds on the journey.

As my fork draws near, I must make an informed choice soon.